I have a confession to make – I’m not a very good listener. My lovely fiancée Sharon pointed this out to me on multiple occasions but today I actually heard her (ironic, I know). I mulled on this thought and thought about how careless I must seem when she repeats herself over and over again. Of course I love her but unless it was ultra-important, I took her words for granted. That train of thought had me asking myself what else I was taking for granted.
“Of course the sun will rise tomorrow and I’ll be alive to see it,” is what I’d implicitly think and it showed through my life. Floating through my university years, never thinking twice about keeping in touch with friends, ignoring the important to-do tasks in my life, all underscored by the expectation that I’d get to it sometime in the future.
Now I’m not going to continue the post by saying I had an ‘ah-ha’-lightbulb-revelation from the heavens and nothing was the same. But a small little something did happen.
It started with a short video of Mother Teresa giving advice to people struggling with prayer. I could write a whole series on her words but what really grabbed my attention was her opening words,
God speaks to us in the silence of our hearts.
– Mother Teresa
I thought to myself, “Oh, I need to be silent to hear what God is saying to me.” (Yes, I really am that slow…) So I’m sitting in Adoration with this drive to be SILENT and then(!) I will be able to hear God!
Apparently, it doesn’t happen so quickly for me and not in the way I was expecting. I have an imagination that has a flair for the dramatic. I half-expected the Holy Spirit to descend as a dove on my right shoulder and the heavenly, bass-heavy voice of God to declare what His will was for me. I think someone else had a similar experience…
As you can imagine, that did not happen. Instead I was staring at my feet that were resting on the carpet (cue the crickets). I then started thinking about how cool the human nervous system was as I could feel the carpet through my toes. “I wonder why I can only feel what my toes are feeling rather than sensing the feeling traveling up leg, to my spine and then into my brain…” So I turned my attention to focusing on following the feeling from my toes into my legs – and what happened next blew me away!
I slowly started to feel the blood flowing to my feet from my calves. Tracing it back further, I felt the blood flowing to my calves from my upper legs and from my waist. As I desperately tried to maintain my focus on this flow my brain was overwhelmed from actively trying to feel my body – because the feeling I received was euphoric!
It was such a strange pleasure to be aware of my own body! I had to break my concentration for I would have yelled out loud in excitement and disturbed the other people in the chapel! And I couldn’t stop smiling. I had been so focused on looking for a outside force to change my life, when in fact that force was within me all along. God had spoken. And he said this:
You think you are jaded because of the negativity of everyday life and only focus on what can be seen. Be still and become aware of the miracle occurring in your own body and in every single moment of everyday. Be still and listen – I spoke everything into existence and everything speaks of Me. You are ALWAYS immersed in My Love. Be still and listen.